10 Tips To Plan The Hawaii Wedding You Really Want (without getting overwhelmed)
once you say “YES” to your lover’s “wanna marry me,” immediately you have to start making decisions. from fun ones like, “where are we honeymooning?” to really difficult ones like, “who are we (not) inviting to our celebration?”
all of your simple everyday questions become incredibly more complex when added to your elopement or wedding scenario. what do I wear? who am I hanging out with? what am I eating? all become questions with much, much longer answers (well, maybe not “what am I eating”—that one takes too many trips to the fridge, no matter what)
take heart! there are a lot of ways to avoid the stress and overwhelming decision fatigue that tends to accompany planning one of the most significant days of your life.
let’s get started!
my first bonus tip is: know that it’s okay to be overwhelmed, to take breaks, and to ask for help. you are human, and your community is rooting for you!
10 tips to consider today:
1. make a list of priorities + non-negotiables for you + your lover
the first and most important step is to have a tete a la tete with your partner to really, seriously decide what is actually important to you on this day. whether it’s “fostering our intimate connection” or “feeling a sense of adventure” or “enjoying time with close friends", these are all valid and wonderful priorities—but extremely different outcomes. deciding this list beforehand is a great way to keep you both on track to experience a day you will love forever.
2. make a list of delegatable tasks
whether you aren’t comfortable with delegation or you really don’t know what you need help with, it’s easy for those offers from family (and your partner) to help slip by.
take some time to think through tasks you can give away so when the next aunty asks if they can help, you can say, “well, actually… *whips out list*”
things like:
compiling a list of vendors to look through
bookmarking helpful articles you should read
any pickups/deliveries of wedding goods or guests
creating, crafting or thrifting diy elements
addressing and putting stamps on envelopes
setup and breakdown on the day-of
point of contact for guests the day-of (so no one is panic calling you)
3. choose vendors who have your back + vibe with you
hiring people who align with your values and have your back is an incredibly important part of making sure your special day goes as smoothly as possible! your wedding vendor team are invaluable players on the day of—because they will do everything to make sure your wedding is incredible. especially if you are planning an elopement with just you two! make sure the team you choose treats you like the family you are.
4. if you’re doing a destination elopement or wedding, hire local
if possible, I always recommend getting vendors who are local. especially when it comes to hiring a photographer, one who is local to your destination is absolutely key for the most authentic experience of your elopement/wedding destination. this is because your photographer is usually the one helping you plan where to go and what to do! by hiring a local photographer, you are getting the true inside scoop not just for locations but local recommendations on food and especially coffee 😜
5. don’t compare your wedding to others
your wedding is not like anyone else’s because you are the only you. it’s far too easy to fall into the comparison trap, and I dealt with it just like you! embrace and interact with the special and unique features that make your wedding your own—that’s what’s really Pinterest-worthy.
6. get away from it all
take time away from planning, away from figuring out the details, away from looking at colour swatches… and take a breath. recall why you are here, right now: you’re in love with someone pretty great, and something wonderful is happening.
take the day off, find your person, and just be in love with them. forget for a second about the event that celebrates your relationship + simply celebrate your relationship.
7. ask for an outside opinion
it’s like when someone asks what you want to eat, “I don’t know.” but then they suggest somewhere, and you realise you don’t know what you want… but you know what you don’t want 🤣 so if you are feeling stuck or like you can’t make a decision, seek help!
you have the answer, it just needs a little coaxing to come on out to play. ask your partner, a trusted friend who has fresh eyes on the situation, or you could always schedule a call with me if you need an encouraging voice to help you figure something out.
8. get enough sleep! (no scrolling on pinterest til 1 am)
you’ll probably need some sleep and some water soon. leave the stressful decision-making (and the blue light!) for the night and get a good night’s sleep. you can get back to the decisions in the morning with fresh eyes and glowing skin.
9. designate a week-of or day-of coordinator
even when you are eloping, I highly recommend that you take the full week before your big day to transition from planner to lover. people tell you not to sweat the small stuff, and you won’t have to if you hire a professional or designate someone you trust to run the details of the week-of, or at least the day-of. take a load off and enjoy this to the fullest.
10. make your wedding serve you—not the other way around
hey wait—this day is for you! check your heart as you go, and make sure your wedding day is serving you, not that you are serving it. make the decisions that make you and your partner feel closer, more in love, and completely at ease. cater to the rhythm of your souls, not to the expectations of others. do what rings true and everything else will fall in place. you got this.
if you’re eloping in Hawai’i and want some help with the overwhelm, feel free to reach out. we’re family already, aren’t we? can’t wait to hear from you! x
all the magic,
mar
