The Full Guide to Eloping In Hawaii Ethically And Easily (updated 2024)
Hawaii is so much more than a party theme or a pretty place—it is a home. it is a kingdom. it is a people. you can have all of the fun and beauty of a Hawaii elopement (without the guilt) by following these tips on ethically eloping + vacationing in Hawaii~
update 2023: we are always pretty sensitive to visitors in Hawai’i, especially those who belong to the land (native Hawaiians/kānaka) and those who grew up on the land (locals). following the horrific wildfires that decimated Lāhainā in August 2023, we are even more sensitive to the effects of overtourism and colonization that have been building since the overthrow 100 years ago (and even before that, when Captain Cook landed in 1778.) so, there are a lot of voices saying a lot of things online, and this can be confusing. but we have our arms open to those who are willing to hear and to learn. the bottom line is: visit, enjoy, support local, and go home with beautiful memories and a bigger heart for Hawaiʻi ♥️
if that’s you, then let’s get on to the meat of eloping in Hawaiʻi ethically!
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I’m passionate about elopements because I firmly believe that the day you and your lover say “yes” to each other isn’t about feeding the wedding machine or your family’s expectations or even having a “Pinterest-worthy” day—
It’s about celebrating your deep bond and the decision to commit to each other with a beautiful and unforgettable experience together.
Of course, you don’t have to elope in Hawai’i for it to be an intimate, soulful affair! Hawai’i is not only beautiful, but there is a spirit of aloha, serenity, and love that permeates the air. If you can celebrate here, what’s better than taking intentional time to slow down, reset, and connect deeply in the most beautiful place in the world with the most beautiful person in the world? ♥️
So, if you’re convinced about eloping in Hawai’i, yay! But which island? It really depends on the experience you want. Are you an adventurous hiker? Lazy beach-goer? Want to find the art scene? Want to be away from everything and everyone? Our islands have it all~
Here is a cursory overview:
Kauaʻi - the Garden Isle! being the oldest island in the chain, there is a lot of unique, rugged, incredibly beautiful and lush scenes here. Kaua’i is pretty secluded, and I have fallen in love with how raw and natural it is out here. one of the big problems you can run into here is travel time—there is basically one road connecting the whole island, which can lead to a lot of heavy traffic depending on where/when you are on the road. but Kauai’i has a lot of unique food stops, artists, and adventures that range from “chill” to “wild”.
Maui - following the devastation of the wildfires that hit Lahaina in August, we are all in mourning, but this island is especially sensitive to visitors right now. while west Maui (including Lahaina, Nāpili, Kāʻanapali, and Kapalua) is closed to visitors, there is still a lot of Maui that would benefit from your presence & dollars right now! there is generally less “going out” to do here, but Maui by far has the best sand beaches out of all the islands. plus, I would rank Haleakalā in the top five of my favourite places I’ve been in the world. Maui is a great choice if you want to slow down & immerse yourself in rest and nature.
Hawaiʻi Island (Big Island) - the biggest island! as you’d expect it has the most extremes of all the islands, from desert to snow to lush valleys. there are a lot of options for dining and city life in Kona but also more wild and farm life on the Hilo side. (be aware that driving from Kona to Hilo is a long journey that may require 4-wheel drive.) there are experiences you can only have on on Hawaiʻi island, such as the Volcano National Park and Mauna Kea (the world’s tallest mountain). this is a great island if you want a lot of options for things to do and you’re down to drive around to do them! if you don’t want to drive around but want to feel lost in nature, there are a bunch of amazing off the grid houses you can stay in to really disconnect from city life.
Oʻahu - I really appreciate this island because of how much there is to do in such close proximity. all on the same day, you could do an adventurous hike, swim in the ocean, go to the farmer’s market, visit an art museum, have a fancy dinner (open past 9p lol), drink a world-class cocktail, and go dancing! not that you need to pack into one day but… you can ;) there are a lot of people here, but also a lot of fun. Oʻahu is a great pick if you want a little bit of everything.
you see, you really can’t go wrong—any island gives a once-in-a-lifetime experience, it just depends on what you mainly want to do!
Planning Magic Happens with VISION.
My recommendation is to jot down a few of your very favourite activities to do together + then structure your day and your honeymoon around those things!
What is your dream day?
What do you see yourself doing with your partner before and after you get married?
What are the feelings you experience?
What are you eating? (lol)
Why not sleep in, have some cuddles and order brunch to eat in bed before your afternoon ceremony? Why not get up before the sun to get to the summit as the sun climbs into the sky and say your vows under a fresh morning mist then grab some acai bowls?
The vision of your day should appeal to you! What other people think doesn’t really matter :)
Whatever makes you two feel close to each other and most yourselves, this is the “vision” phase. (if you want more tips on planning without the overwhelm, check out this post.)
A big part of this is finding the right vendors to make your vision a reality! which brings us to…
Assemble the Dream Vendor Team
Where your creative vision + budget allow, instead of bringing things or people from big businesses, it is not only rewarding to support Hawai’i’s small businesses but will make your big day the unique work of art it deserves to be.
If you want a truly local experience and not just the tourist experience, you’ll need the perspectives and help from local vendors. Hawai’i has incredibly talented and diverse artists from painters to floral designers and beyond!
(the team from Tropical Moon laughing it up at one of our events)
In addition, Hawai’i is well known for our hospitality and there is a whole lot of generosity and heart to be found here! Often when you are eloping there isn’t a lot of family coming as your workforce—when you pick your vendor team, they are your hands and they must have your back. This is a natural strength of local vendors, as we are raised in a family culture that values every human as a part of our ‘ohana.
If you book with me (or if you just ask lol) I have a list of all the vendors I absolutely trust to give you an incredible experience, and being a part of this wedding and creative community with these people is something I relish!
Choosing the right photographer is important because you are spending a lot of time with this person (the most, actually, besides your almost spouse).
Your photographer is a big part of planning beforehand, and setting the tone on the day of!
me with one of my fab couples 🥹
Do you want someone to guide you through everything and give specific prompts or poses? Do you want someone who blends into the background and allows you to just be? Do you want someone who feels like a good friend that you can joke around with? (maybe all three!)
When choosing your photographer, in addition to falling in love with their imagery, I hope you fall in love with their personality! This is why I love video calls with my clients, so we both can really see if we vibe and mesh. While it isn’t a must to love your photographer’s personality, it elevates the experience to know that your photographer and all your vendors really have your back and will be there for you when anything happens.
A few questions you can have on your mind as you sift through photographers and other vendors you may be spending more time with:
Would we feel comfortable to be ourselves around this person?
Do our values align?
Do we vibe with this person’s energy?
The Dream Day Arrives
So, you have all of your vendors, you chose your ideal location, you are on the island, and everything is about to happen. Wait, what does the actual day look like?! If you have hired me (or a planner), you will have a handy timeline that will ease your fears. If you are looking for help DIY’ing your timeline, check out this blog post.
If you just want something simple, here’s what a sunrise elopement might look like:
4:15A - Wake up call! Get ready, eat brekkie.
5:15A - Roll out
5:45A - Reach sunrise destination, meet your team.
6A - Find your spot, take in the sight, start the ceremony.
6A-6:30A - Grounding ceremony, exchange vows, rings, say “I do!”
6:30A-6:45A - Sign the certificate, first dance, pop the bubbly!
6:45A-7A - Portraits in your beautiful location
7A - Pau!
And of course, your elopement will continue beyond the photos! You could get a tasty breakfast, do a little hike, lounge at the beach, eat your way across the island, or any manner of fun things. Check out this gallery for a taste of what your gallery could look like!
Planning Your Honeymoon
Post elopement… Now it’s time to plan the honeymoon (yay)! Whether you want stay in one place or island hop, use some of these tips to draw out relaxing and fun honeymoon plans~
What core memories do we want to build together?
What is something we have always wanted an excuse to do together?
How can we give ourselves permission to enjoy this moment of our lives together?
What is one experience on both of our bucket lists?
What is one important memory we want to walk away with?
(if you’re honeymooning on O’ahu, here’s a guide to enjoying O’ahu and some hotels to stay on your honeymoon)
Getting Legal: Permits
One of the more difficult parts about commercial activity in Hawai’i is the strict (and often confusing) permitting needed on land owned by the government. If you aren’t planning on eloping on private property, we’ll need to filter your location dreams through the permitting structure. there are a lot of locations that are illegal to perform commercial activities on, and I adhere to these rules because those locations are often either culturally or ecologically sensitive.
That said, the legal stuff is almost the only thing you need to pay attention to timeline-wise in your elopement planning—some locations (such as most beaches) only need a week’s notice and cost $20, but other locations (botanical gardens, state parks) need 3-4 weeks to obtain permitting and cost $20-$100.
No worries, though, when you book with me, I have you covered! Just allow the right amount of time before your elopement, and I cover everything else~
Getting Legal: Marriage License & Who Can Marry You?
If you plan on legalizing everything in Hawai’i, you + your boo will need to appear together at the licensing office sometime before your “I do”s. The license is good for 30 days, so anytime before your official ceremony will work out just fine.
You’ll need a marriage performer licensed in Hawai’i, but no witnesses are needed. If you would like someone to walk you through the ceremony, I can recommend my favourite celebrants/officiants, or simply find a marriage performer to sign your documents at the link below :)
link to your marriage license | hawai'i government wedding information | find a marriage performer
The biggest thing to understand about Hawaiʻi is that we are on stolen land—our efforts to reconcile this cannot be enough to undo all of the damage done. We can contribute to the ongoing healing by a commitment to learning about Hawaiian culture and respecting the land.
+ Watch this video on the history of Hawaiʻi.
+ Here are resources for further educational reading.
+ Here and Here are places you can volunteer while on island.
+ @ehoopilimai, @ainamomona, @melemaikalanimakalapuaa are always sharing educational and important material regarding Hawai’i.
Other Helpful Articles:
Responsible Tourism from Kanaka Maoli Perspective
When Travel Restarts, Hawaiians Are Hoping for a More Respectful Future
Another way I understand Hawaiʻi is leaning into a contributor mindset: it’s not about what I can get, but also what I can give.
How can I contribute? How can I leave it better than I found it?
Consider giving time or money to local organizations dedicated to bettering the islands, and supporting local/native businesses while you’re here!
I know many of the visitors who truly love Hawaiʻi give back immeasurably, and we are doing our very best. if there are any more resources you are looking for, feel free to email or dm me and I’ll reach out with more info and whatever else you need!
DONATE:
Lahaina direct donations | foundations you can support on O’ahu
VOLUNTEER:
volunteer events | volunteer opportunities for every island
SHOP LOCAL/SUPPORT HAWAIIANS:
Hawaiian business directory | global Hawaiian businesses
small business directory | made in Hawai’i | support local podcast
One of my passions is making travel a little bit more sustainable and friendly to the earth since there is so much carbon that goes into a plane ride every time I leave the island 🥲
Here are a few things I do personally and some tips for traveling sustainably through Hawaiʻi:
BYO-reusable things! —
Sustainability is super important here since we see the direct effects of plastic and trash on our ecosystem. single-use plastic bags are banned in Hawai’i, so if you have a tote with you, you can avoid the bag fee for a brown bag or a reusable bag. if possible, bring your own water bottles, utensils, coffee vessels + straws (here are a few places to find eco-friendly products on island). many places have water refilling stations and take personal cups, so this is something I always carry when I leave the house!
Travel mindfully —
Be aware that traffic can be gnarly on O’ahu from 7a-9:30a and 2p-6p. if your day is flexible, avoiding sitting in traffic is good for the planet and mind too (lol). On O’ahu, the bus system is actually a pretty amazing option if you are not planning on venturing out too far! Even if you are, if you don’t mind a long ride, our bus system takes you pretty much as far as you need to go. (Keep in mind, this is not true for other islands lol)
Hike respectfully —
“Pack it in, pack it out” mentality
Don’t go off-trail — soil erosion is a big problem on our popular hikes because of people trying to find new trails!
Illegal trails are usually illegal for a reason (dangerous, culturally inappropriate, or recovering fauna), please choose your hikes with care.
Be aware of the seeds and plant diseases you could be tracking from trail to trail — especially in Big Island with rapid ohia death— wipe your boots down before you leave or enter a new park/trail.
Be aware in the ocean —Ensure your sunscreen is reef-safe when you go into the ocean (resources on reef safe sunscreen) or if you burn easily, use long sleeve/extra coverage swimwear to avoid using sunscreen altogether.
When you’re in the ocean, don’t step on the reef! it is not only a danger to you if you get cut (cue horror stories about untreated reef cuts… ew) but a danger to the vital flora and animals living there.
Don’t turn your back to the ocean—you never know if a surprise wave will hit you from behind, even when it looks calm.
Your elopement and vacation are going to be the most amazing experience—not just to have a gloriously beautiful place to say ‘I choose you’ but to participate in shaping the future of Hawaiʻi with your generosity and joyful embracing of Hawaiian culture and aloha.
The spirit of Aloha truly does inhabit our islands and it inhabits my own soul. I am so grateful to be able to share it with you—soak it up. enjoy it fully. I can’t wait to celebrate with you.
love,
mar